THE TOP 13 ADDITIONAL WARNINGS THE FDA IS CONSIDERING FOR BEER AND ALCOHOL BOTTLES

 

13.  WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

12.  WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an asshole.

11.  WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your  friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.

10.  WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

9.   WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.

8.   WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering  what the hell happened to your pants.

7.   WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

6.   WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

5.   WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really  big guy named Chuck or girls named XENA.

4.   WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

3.   WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

2.   WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in thetime-space continuem, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

1.  WARNING:     Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.