The Top 12 Differences if All Mothers Were Lawyers


12> All baby girls are named Sue.

11> "If it doesn't fit, you'll grow into it."

10> Favorite bedtime story: Goldilocks and the Tortious
    Misappropriation of Personal Property Belonging to the
    Plaintiffs (referred to herein as "The Three Bears").

9> Perfectly acceptable to assert your Fifth Amendment rights
    when she asks what you're doing in the bathroom so long.

8> You *do* have to clean your room, and she *will* make a
    federal case out of it.

7> "Your honor, opposing counsel never calls, he never writes!"

6> Finding out there is no sanity clause.

5> "And when I get home I want your room... wait, did you hear
    an ambulance?!?"

4> Ally McBeal wouldn't be allowed to leave the courthouse
    cafeteria until she eats everything on her plate.

3> "Habeas your corpus back in this house right now, you little
    tortfeasor!"

2> "...If I should die before I wake; Mommy'll sue your ass for
    negligence.  Amen."
           
1> "May I approach the witness?  He's got a little schmutz
    on his face."