Surgeon General Warnings

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1. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with

breath that could knock a buzzard off a shit truck at 100 yards.

2. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like

an ass.

3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same

boring story over and over again until your friends want to punch you.

4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like

thish.

5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what

you REALLY think while photocopying your butt at the office party.

6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that

ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the

morning.

7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the

hell ever happened to your pants anyway.

8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the

morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you

can't remember)

9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of

inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you

are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy

named Psycho.

11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause people in clubs to

appear better looking than they actually are. (not to mention the

lighting did wonders for their looks)

12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol in females may cause extreme

bloating in a  nine month period. (oops)

Contributed by: M. Med